If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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