What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
