Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
