Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
