So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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