You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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