Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
