i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize