no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
