You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
