Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
