can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
