Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
