forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
