So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
