and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
