i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
