how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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