My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
