i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
