Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
