okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
