A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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