I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
