I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
