You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
