The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
