haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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