I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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