oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
