can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
