At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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