Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
