I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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