: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
