I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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