We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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