so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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