I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
