erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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