Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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