I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
