Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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