isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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