we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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