There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
