i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
