we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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