im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My hand turned me down
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
