nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize