Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
