So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
