a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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