we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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