Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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