no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize