I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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