Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
