We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
