3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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