I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
