I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
