Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
