Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
