I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
