That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
