Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
