i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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